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Give and Not Take

Jun 19 2015

A couple of days ago i checked my facebook feed and I found a post from one of my college mates in boarding school years ago. One of our classmates was going through difficult times and could not bear it again and thus he took his own life. I broke down in tears for I am presently going through such and it made me realise how lucky I am to have my immediate family, a loving mother and wonderful siblings to help me pass through this phase in life.

I could not really remember his face for I only spent a year in boarding school before I was returned back to day school due to reasons not of my own doing but was very much an important decision to be made at that particular period. I did try as much as possible to add most of my boarding school mates and some of my mates from secondary school as friends on Facebook.

This got me thinking and thus the question of when was the last time we called someone just to say hello and not because you do need something from them.

I wondered if this person did have friends that went out of their ways to make him not feel the impact of what is going on his life by taking him out on boys night, hang out a bit, involve him on some of the projects they are working that they know he used to have the notch for, making him not feel like he does not have it all together again. Most importantly is where were his siblings? I do know a bit about his family to know that he has lots of siblings. He is from an extended family but his dad make sure all the kids lived under one roof with him and the mothers were not allowed under the same roof with him and the kids. The kids do go on holiday to their mothers but that was it, if you were not told that they have different mothers you will not know. That was how tightly knitted his family is.

I do know that men do have lots of ego and pride, everyone do have pride that is for sure. I am really hoping that this guy did not allow his pride to come between him and his siblings, but no matter how proud you might be someone will always get across to you, that is for sure.

A lot has been happening these days with different people, I hear different stories of dead under40s. It is so sad because they have a lot to live for.
No matter what you are going through the fact that you wake up in the morning with all your senses intact, good health, you are not hospitalised, you have every reason to thank God and believe that all will be well. Like the bible says, our ways are not God’s ways and His thoughts towards us is that of good and not of evil. Whatever situation you are passing through do sit back and look at it from these angles:

– What is God telling me?
– What is your relationship with God?
– What lesson is to be learnt here?
– What do you need to do different to achieve the goals you’ve always wanted?
– Who are the people you will still keep in your life and the ones that need to go?
– What does trust and loyalty mean to you during this period?
– What are your values? Do they need to be re-assessed?
– What is your relationship with your immediate family right now?

You do not know whether that call would have save someone’s life. Let’s try to call, send a text message, a short mail to check up on the people we do know. It’s crazy enough trying to cope with the chaotic Lagos life, but not withstanding we can do it. That call, that smile , that Thank You might go a long way to lift someone out of whatever they are going through. Do tell someone you love them and appreciate them today.

Though I never knew you that well, it is so sad that you are gone so soon. ADIEU Yinka

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